Completely silent
Greg has not said a word since 2019. We've asked him to. He won't.
Introducing Greg
Never be truly alone again.
Solitude-as-a-Service sends a man named Greg to sit silently in the corner of your apartment. He doesn't talk. He doesn't judge. He's just there.
Watch Greg sit (4 hrs)
Leaving (never)
Sitting in the corners of 10,000+ homes
- Studio apartments
- Lofts
- Basements
- Your aunt's guest room
- One (1) lighthouse
Always there
Greg does not leave. Not at night. Not when asked. We have tried.
Low maintenance
Greg brings his own chair and eats one almond a day.
Greg blinks 20% less than the average man.
Loud breathing
Studio-quality inhales and exhales, audible from any room in the house.
Occasional sigh
About once an hour. You'll never know why. Neither will Greg.
3am hum
One note, held for eleven minutes. Every night. Can't be turned off.
Loneliness, solved. Sort of.
The old way
- Alone with your thoughts
- Hearing a noise at night and wondering what it was
- Talking to your plants
The new way
- Alone with Greg's thoughts (unknown)
- Hearing a noise at night. It was Greg.
- Greg is also talking to your plants, silently
"I don't know how Greg got a key. But I sleep better knowing he's in the corner."
Simple, transparent pricing
Greg is priceless. But also, here are the prices.
Greg
$4,999/month
- One (1) Greg
- Silent sitting, 24/7
- Chair rental: $900/month
- Almond fee: $40/day
Most popular
Greg Pro
$18,500/month
- Everything in Greg
- Loud breathing
- Unlimited sighs
- 3am hum (mandatory)
Greg Enterprise
$2.4M/year
- A Greg in every corner
- Gregs don't talk to each other
- Dedicated Greg success manager (also silent)
- Early termination fee: Greg stays anyway
Prices do not include tax, tip, or Greg's feelings. Greg cannot be returned.
Your corner is empty. Greg can fix that.
First sit is free. Greg is already on his way.
Book a Greg